GoFundMe for novices (me included!!)
File under: GoFundMe
What do I know about GoFundMe?
Zero. I’ve given to a couple of campaigns maybe.
Yet ... a faith-based charity I adore asked for help writing their emergency case for support on GoFundMe. They're called Operation Care International. Generally, they work with the homeless in Dallas, TX.
Now they were traveling to the Philippines and Vietnam ... to wash feet, bring kids some essential school and hygienic supplies ... and the word of Christ. I don't practice any religious creed ... except maybe heavy breathing (easily confused with panic attacks).
But I like these people: very, very much. For their devotion, their tenacity, their global world view. They brought their healing mission to Ukraine and other Eastern European countries last year. I first met the founder, Susie Jennings, R.N., at the Nonprofit Storytelling Conference. Jesus is listed as their CEO.
So I said: "Sure, Susie. Send me what you have. I'll see what I can find out."
There's this thing called the Internet. I Googled: "Best practices in GoFundMe." Millions of results popped up.
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This is what Operation Care International had already written (under 1 min. read):
Why Badjao Children?
Imagine being a Badjao child living in a boat house in the sea. No place to play and hardly a place to sleep. A whole family is living in that boat house!
Badjao is an indigenous population whose culture and livelihood are tied to the sea. They are called "sea Gypsies" because they live and fish in coastal areas. They live in extreme poverty. Many of them send their children to the cities to beg for alms. However, the Badjao people were forced off the water onto the land due to increasing piracy.
Operation Care International team of 11 will help those poor Badjao children in the Philippines. Our mission is called "Christmas in July," and we are meeting those children's spiritual and physical needs. A gift of $30.00 will help provide socks with shoes, food, a T-shirt, Bible, a backpack, school supplies, and personal care items like a comb, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, face towel, etc.
We are going to 3 different islands in the Philippines to serve 1,610 poor children, and we are also going to North Vietnam to help 390 children. A total of 2,000 needy children need YOUR help!
Please GIVE. It will touch lives and change the world. 100% of the funds will go to help these needy children.
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The first thing I learned from GoFundMe "best practices" was that the headline matters a lot. So I rewrote theirs...
Bring hope and spiritual comfort to a desperately poor "boat child" in the Phillippines or Vietnam during our "Christmas in July" mission
[My rewrite continued...]
In July, an Operation Care International team of 11 experienced missionaries will arrive at 3 different islands in the Phillippines to serve 1,610 children. We then move the mission to Vietnam to help another 390 boat children. Your compassion — at $30 donated per child — directly brings both spiritual and physical aid to today's suffering Badjao children.
[Please note: The Better Fundraising Co. says the most popular offers will have an affordable price point. Operation Care already had a great $30 offer {Bible and shoes included!}. But the $30 offer was delivered just once in the middle of the third paragraph. I moved that delicious offer into the first paragraph of the text. Then repeated it in the final paragraph.]
Who are the Badjao? They are an ancient indigenous group with a rich culture in the Phillippines. For centuries they made a healthy living from the sea and spread around the South China sea. They've been called "sea nomads" or "sea gypsies," not always kindly. Your heart-warming gift serves a child who will sometimes live on a small boat her entire life. Increased piracy has forced many formerly self-sustaining Badjao families to cling to shore. Their children now beg for alms in the cities, to stay alive.
"Christmas in July" brings you into their lives. Your love lights a candle of hope. A $30-per-child prayer/gift delivers a Bible ... plus food, socks with shoes, a T-shirt, a backpack, school supplies, and personal care items like a comb, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, face towel, etc. As Jesus did with His disciples, we also wash their feet ... bringing your kind, humble presence by touch to these Badjao children. You don't pay for missionary travel, by the way (someone else is covering that cost): 100% of your prayer/gift helps these needy Badjao children.
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Dear discerning Ahern subscriber: As you probably noticed, the details in my rewrite are not all that different from the original. I did a few minutes of online research to flesh out my understanding of the Badjao culture (which is fascinating).
But my facts were pretty much the same facts offered in Operation Care's original case for support.
I moved the $30 per child offer up a bit, as I said before. And I repeated the offer in paragraph 3 ... just because making the offer twice is better than making the offer once ... always!
Otherwise I let the story unfold in the reader's imagination: a vibrant culture, attacked by pirates, now the kids have to beg on the streets ... but there's hope!
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Now YOU need to ask: Which GoFundMe case worked better (raised more money), their original or my rewrite? (Which they adopted.)
I DON'T KNOW! It would have been the perfect A/B split test ... if anyone were doing such a test. But this was an emergency appeal ... so it flew out the window, as fast as a trapped bat.
We'll see. Don't believe anything I tell you ... until you hear about the results. I WILL report ... when Operation Care returns from its Pacific missions.
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